Before sitting down to write this post, I had to remove a certain present from my chair. A present which I had hurriedly thrown there this morning, in a frantic effort to remove it from my school bag. I could already imagine the embarrassment of seeing it roll across the floor as I knocked the contents over. Or the sheer humiliation of reaching inside for my pencil case, only to instead grab on to its elasticy flesh and place it on my desk.
However, I want to make it very clear to Matt and Jasmine that I love my rubber chicken very much. I couldn’t possibly think of a better gift, and I’ll be eternally grateful.
However, I want to make it very clear to Matt and Jasmine that I love my rubber chicken very much. I couldn’t possibly think of a better gift, and I’ll be eternally grateful.
I was sitting on the (exclusively sixth form) balcony yesterday, innocently discussing my plans for the weekend, when a bulging yellow plastic bag was waved in front of my face. I quickly grabbed it, eager to see what it was. Needless to say, as soon as I saw its rubber beak, and beautiful rubber wings, my heart filled with delight.
Me and my friends, a group of 16 and 17 year olds, spent the next quarter of an hour gleefully throwing this rubber chicken around in a circle. Even more hilarity ensued when we realised that squeezing the chicken made it ‘lay an egg’. Everyone was happy, the sun was shining, that is, until certain members of the group decided to ruin it all for everyone. Firstly, MATTHEW decided to inform me that the chicken couldn’t be name Brian because it laid an egg, and was therefore a girl. This comment was ignored.
As if this wasn’t bad enough, Timmy decided to kidnap the lovely Brian, and throw him at Danny, who hit him with a ring binder. It was a sick, twisted game.
I immediately picked my Brian from the floor, brushed the debris off him, and stuffed him into the safety of my bag.
Where I probably should have left him...
However, such a proud new chicken owner was I, that I decided to show my friend in Psychology. She was so impressed that she demanded to squeeze Brian herself. Soon, my whole row was in awe of him. Sensing there was some amazing spectacle to be seen, my Psychology teacher walked over, and insisted on seeing it herself. I’m pretty sure I turned a bright shade of red as I slowly placed my rubber chicken on the desk...
Me and my friends, a group of 16 and 17 year olds, spent the next quarter of an hour gleefully throwing this rubber chicken around in a circle. Even more hilarity ensued when we realised that squeezing the chicken made it ‘lay an egg’. Everyone was happy, the sun was shining, that is, until certain members of the group decided to ruin it all for everyone. Firstly, MATTHEW decided to inform me that the chicken couldn’t be name Brian because it laid an egg, and was therefore a girl. This comment was ignored.
As if this wasn’t bad enough, Timmy decided to kidnap the lovely Brian, and throw him at Danny, who hit him with a ring binder. It was a sick, twisted game.
I immediately picked my Brian from the floor, brushed the debris off him, and stuffed him into the safety of my bag.
Where I probably should have left him...
However, such a proud new chicken owner was I, that I decided to show my friend in Psychology. She was so impressed that she demanded to squeeze Brian herself. Soon, my whole row was in awe of him. Sensing there was some amazing spectacle to be seen, my Psychology teacher walked over, and insisted on seeing it herself. I’m pretty sure I turned a bright shade of red as I slowly placed my rubber chicken on the desk...
Vicky xxxxxxxxxx
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